The Guinness World Record For Oldest Skydiver Is A Battle Of The Titans

I'm not sure if anybody else has been keeping tabs on the world of competitive old people record setting sky diving, but it's been a battle of the titans over the past few years. In one corner you have the current record older, 106 year old American hero, Alfred "Al" Blaschke. 

Alf originally earned the title of World's Oldest Skydiver back in 2020 at age 103. Right in the height of COVID. Whereas most old's were couped up at home playing Chinese checkers in hazmat suits, Alf was out taking the world by the balls and plummeting towards the ground with a man strapped to his back at speeds exceeding 100 mph. 

An inspiration to us all. But his record was short lived. Blaschke held onto his crown for a mere 2 years. Statistically speaking that should have been plenty long enough for him to go out on top as the oldest skydiver to ever live. But against all odds, Blaschke survived long enough to see his record broken by a Swedish woman. A broad of 103 years, 259 days old with the beautiful name of Rut Linnea Ingegard Larsson. 

But Al didn't hear no bell/go towards no light. Still kicking at the age of 106 years, 327 days old. Which is more than three years older than Rut at the time of her record breaking jump. Blaschke shattered the record and reclaimed his spot at the top of the old person skydiving world.

Unfortunately, I can't seem to confirm whether or not Rut Larsson is still kicking. I'd love to see her come for her rival Al one more time. If Rut can manage to hang onto life for another 2-3 years surpasses 106 years of age, then perhaps she'll wear the crown once more. What a story that would be. Fingers crossed we'll be watching Rut fall from the sky yet again sometime in 2027.

I thought that story was semi-amusing in it's own right. It's funny to me that the Guinness World Record for oldest skydiver is so heavily contested. But the battle between Alf and Rut isn't even the most interesting part of this story. As a matter of fact, there's a third skydiver. A woman who goes went by the name of Dorothy Hoffner. Dorothy Hoffner by all accounts appears to have taken a brief hold of the record at 104 years old in October of last year. 

But strangely, in the article published by the official Guinness World Records website, there's not a single mention of Dorothy. According to Guinness, Blaschke set the record in 2020, Rut overtook him in 2022, and Rut held that record until earlier this week when Blaschke completed the jump at 106. It's all right here.

Guinness World Records - Al was 106 years 327 days old – over three years older than the previous record – at the time of his jump. 

He first broke the record in 2020, aged 103, when he jumped out of a moving plane at 14,000 feet to celebrate his twin grandsons’ college graduations. 

“That was my dream […] I never thought I’d be around this long,” Al said at the time.

Al decided to do his most recent skydive after his record was broken in 2022 by a Swedish woman named Rut Linnéa Ingegärd Larsson, who was aged 103 years 259 days. 

What the hell Guinness? What about Dorothy? Was her jump not good enough for you? It's all documented right there in that video. Was she using performance enhancing drugs or something?

Well apparently, just a week after Dorothy appeared to have broken the record, the 104-year old extreme athlete passed away in her sleep. Which apparently means… 

C'mon Guinness! You couldn't let her die with the record? You couldn't have posthumously awarded her family? Or give her a mention in your big hard book back? Or at least throw her name in your online article? At minimum Dorothy deserves a mention. She probably passed away buried underneath the mountain of paper work you require to verify your stupid records. Like Dorothy's video of her dive wasn't enough for them. It sounds like the paperwork was so daunting that Dorothy's loved one's didn't even bother completing it after her death.

Conant said he was working through paperwork to ensure that Guinness World Records certifies Hoffner posthumously as the world’s oldest skydiver, but he expects that will take some time. The current record was set in May 2022 by 103-year-old Linnéa Ingegärd Larsson of Sweden. 

C'mon family! The least you can do for sweet ol' Dorothy is get her name in the record books. She deserves that much. But allegedly, Dorothy wasn't in it for the fame and fortune that comes alone with a Guinness World Record. She couldn't have cared less about her picture being featured in a the bottom right corner of Guinness's hardback book next to a man with 26 foot long fingernails. 

AP - Conant said Hoffner didn’t skydive to break a record. He said she had so thoroughly enjoyed her first jump that she just wanted to do it again.

“She had no intention of breaking the record. And she had no interest in any publicity or anything. She wasn’t doing it for any other reason than she wanted to go skydiving,” he said.

All's well that ends well I suppose. Personally, I'm far to petty to not immediately see my name under lights for any sort of Guinness World Record I may achieve. But Dorothy is a better woman than me. I look forward to seeing who the next man or woman is to break the World's Oldest Skydiver record. I'm sure that someone out there (perhaps Rut) is living day-to-day in a hyperbolic chamber just waiting for the day they hit 106 years, 328 days old to rip the title away from Blaschke. I know there are people out there old enough. 

If by the grace of god I reach that age, I may go for it myself. Even if I'm completely bed ridden. Say I reach 110 years of age. I'm on my death bed. I only have a few days left. I'm telling my family to wheel my old ass into a plane, fly me up to altitude, then roll me out of the plane without a parachute. I don't see why I'd have to survive the dive to be awarded the record. I would still have technically skydived. What a way to go out. My kids better do the fucking paperwork.